recinerate | ic

... Oh. He should have expected this; she's smart, calculating. He's all but encouraged her to hurt him before - why would this time be any different?

Unlike before, Beyond shrinks a little under the weight of the question, curling in tighter on himself, resting his chin on his knees. What is he going to do with Shiro? He doesn't know.

"I haven't found her yet." Which isn't really an answer, but it's relevant all the same. She hasn't turned up on the Barge again, now that they've left the land of the dead. Is she still dead, a crumpled pile of bloody limbs and shattered thoughts, still where he left her? He doesn't know this, either.

She leans forward, then, frowning in confusion and the anger she carries with her constantly.

"What do you mean, you haven't found her? The Admiral said he was taking everyone."

"I mean that she's not here, or if she is, she's doing a damn good job of hiding herself, because I've looked everywhere and I haven't found her." He exhales loudly, aggravated with his own uselessness, the fact that he caused this problem and can do nothing to fix it, and reaches up to curl his fingers in his hair hanging over his forehead.

"Of course the Admiral would never lie about something like that. Certainly not."

It does something to her, the way he says that, full of bitterness. Her hands clench in the fabric of her trousers, and she looks right at him.

"Don't you dare put this on the Admiral. You're perpetuating the system. You're the one who's keeping it going. You think anything will come just from griping?"

Beyond glances up at her with a new sharpness in his expression - not quite anger, but almost there. His hand drops from his hair, and he sits forward.

"And how do you intend to beat this system on your own, Elizabeth? How do you dismantle something like this? He can't be killed, not permanently. He can't be overpowered, can't be stopped. I'm perpetuating the system? You make it sound like I'm his accomplice." He shakes his head, continuing: "I hate him, Elizabeth, and I hate what he does. He doesn't care what happens to us while we're locked in this forced path to redemption that he'd designed. He doesn't care if we kill each other, because he'll just do whatever it is he does to bring us back again, so we can continue being pawns in his sadistic game. His rules are as ridiculous as they are arbitrary. Do you think he would have given you the weapon you asked for if you were the one to make the request?" Again, Beyond shakes his head. "And yet, he's content to place unarmed inmates, or those from whom he's decided to strip their abilities - even those that aren't harmful - in the same close quarters are inmates like Arthas, who has incredibly destructive capabilities and can apparently kill anyone he likes without so much as a slap on the wrist."

(Oh - did Beyond forget to mention about he'd been eaten alive by some horrific spectral creature Arthas sent after him just prior to their landing in the Land of the Dead? Because he was.)

"I'm not the one who brought you here, Elizabeth, and I'm not the one who is keeping you here, either. If you're going to be angry about it, at least direct your anger in the proper direction."

She scoffs, actually sits back and laughs, crossing her arms. It's so fucking sanctimonious, and it makes her want to tear her hair out, makes her want to punch him.

"You think I havent worked with oppressors before? Don't pretend you're truthful, and wise, and right. At least have the balls to admit you're doing something that's messed up."

His eyes narrow fractionally as he continues holding his gaze on her. "You consider me an oppressor? I'm trying to help you." He's been nothing but honest with her about that from the start, and about a great number of things, and there's a tinge of incredulity in how he says these words. He's not on the Admiral's side, and he's made that clear from the start, too.

Edited 2016-06-12 20:49 (UTC)

"No," she corrects him, harshly, and now she stands up.

"You're here to help yourself. I'm just a way for you to do that."

He considers that for a moment. She isn't entirely wrong; he is here partly for his own gain, searching for a sense of purpose he wasn't able to find in his life after he left the Barge. But it's not the most important reason. He shakes his head.

"Helping you get back to your family is more important to me than any other motivation I may have," he finally says.

"You think that now," she dismisses that with, as she draws her sweater closer around herself.

"But I've seen what you're like without empathy. I don't think I believe that anymore."

That hurts, more than he'd like to admit, because there's a shadow of the man he used to be in the version of himself Beyond became without his soul. And that's something that's troubled him ever since he was reunited with his soul - the idea that it's not a far stretch for him to become that Beyond again, the idea that perhaps that is who he truly is.

It hurts him to hear that, and he doesn't bother trying to hide it from bleeding into his expression. "I suppose I'll just have to show you, then."

"I suppose you will," she says, and then turns around, without any further words, to go back to her cabin.

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